black rose.

hello memories. it's been ages. it's okay, we're all okay.

out the door.

just be happy it happened. just be happy you caught yourself in time.

anticipation- 5AM

thanks to nanda- i may have finally found the retail experience i've always wanted & needed too! can't wait to start training on monday. i'm not going to get paid for the next 2 training sessions and of course, i'd still be under probation for the following 2-3 months .. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? i really don't care. i'm just really grateful as it is :)

and a new-found friend, er.. more like 'long-lost-now-found-friend'. crap, that didn't make freaking sense right? oh well. well yeah, so where was i..? yes, he mentioned this song. THE (for now, for me, that is) song to get your adrenalin pumpin' - catchy beat. here's to the last week of uni before the easter holidays! good luck with them assignments and exams, dear little bunnies :)

it's been too long.

it's like a song i get lost in every time i hear it. i can't recall how it sounds like after it ends but every time it plays again, the familiar melody makes me fall in love with it all over again. and i get lost again.

because

sigh.
because i'm vain.
because my best friend is an ass but i heart him to bits, still.
&
because i can't wait to hit the beach on saturday.

which also means,
BIKINI shopping tomorrow :)

i've got a million and one things to do.
few includes:

1. handing out MORE job resumes
2. structure outlines for 4 major essays by early next week
   
3. wrap j's present
4. give yumi her present, lol
5. buy presents for 2 others
   
6. LAUNDRY, freakin' laundry!

& the list goes bloody on.

so.
how's life people?

P/S: are you feelin' this? love.

of tequila&long island.

seriously. i'm torn between deciding whether alcohol comes with moments of clarity.. or vulnerability.. and/or stupidity. most of our experiences come with regret but what if, in some miraculous way, unearths your deepest desire and the path that you were meant to pursue? disregard all the warning signs that scream the forbidden, disregard the logic, disregard the impossible.

anyway, i just got home from clubbing with few friends. yumi mentioned how she's grown out of the whole clubbing scene. truth be told, i still enjoy clubbing because of the music, the dancing and just hanging out. i do sometimes wonder the possibility of meeting someone in the club and the success rate of that even happening. i saw couples everywhere tonight. one night stand couples (maybe), couples in love, match-made couples, accidental couples, and starting out couples, etc. i know, i know, at least i'm not alone. at least i have friends. don't get me wrong, i appreciate every single person that's in my life right now. but i can't help but wish i had someone to dance with, knowing that even by the end of the song, he'll still be holding my hand. someone to come home with, come home to. someone to crawl in bed with, tell me i'm the one even after stripped of all make up and pretty dresses. someone to kiss me goodnight, and wake up to the next day. i guess it's true for me, no man is an island.

EDIT 1.12pm;
ALL THE SINGLE LADIES! ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!!! XD

by the way, here's a controversial song but addictive nonetheless :)

Want It, Need It (Feat Ashanti) - Plies

once in a blue moon

sleepless.

one of the many songs that keep you company at 4am.

P/S: i have decided to fly back to KK for the entire month of february. despite how homesick i am & how much i rave about loving home, i don't know why there's this teeny tiny part of me that feels heavy to leave brisbane again.

P/P/S: i realise how much of a people pleaser i am.

P/P/P/S: i blame 'grey's anatomy' for this blog entry at 4am. damn free tv shows online.

* * *

sleep.

some nights, i find it difficult to sleep. 6AM and still i toss and turn in bed. a snapshot of dawn greeting me. anyways, i decided to revisit paulo coelho's 'the alchemist' but instead of picking up the book, i resorted to the audiobook instead. i know i'm spoilt that way but the strange thing is, i never realised how much i miss having bedtime stories read to me. now that i'm done with 'the alchemist', i'm going to "read" 'brida'. hope it's as marvelous as the previous. oh, rain's new album, 'rainism' is out. i am in love. especially with this track. have a great weekend guys :)

I Love - Rain (Bi)

2009.

happy new year 2009 everyone.
i had an awesome countdown! weee!
here's to (hopefully) an awesome one yeah?

P/S: here's a song. a new song i find comfort in. couldn't help but smile listening to this song. just thought i'd share it with the world :)

better today - ne-yo

empty streets

i just realised that i'm leaving for kota kinabalu in less than a week. home again, at last. i miss my parents a lot. a lot more than ever before. i can't wait to sleep in my own bed, in my room again. catch up with old friends over a glass of teh tarik madras ping. can't wait to play catch with my dogs... nah, just kidding, they don't know how to play catch- all they know is to sleep and eat. can't wait to be home.

and then i realised that the next time i'm back in brisbane would be the new year 2009. these next few days are the last days of 2008 that i'd be spending in brisbane. my last memories of 2008. it's funny. i've never really bothered much about memories and countdown to a new year before till this year. 2008. funny, funny, funny. sometimes i feel overwhelmed with everything that's happened this year, from start till end. to tell you the truth, i still very much am. this year, more than ever, i've learnt a lot. i've felt a lot. i've wronged, a few. would i go back and do things any different...? i honestly don't know. my biggest ordeal of 2008? circumstances. things, in the way. chan, my guy best friend labels me, "victim of circumstances".

* * *

the above was written last week, by the way.
flying home tomorrow :)

i just realised that every time i fly back to brisbane, this year, i always dread it. there's always something terrifying that awaits me. so you know what, i think.. i think i'm pretty much done with 2008. i am done. it was.. bittersweet.

another saturday

still down with the cold. have been dry coughing for 3-4 entire days now- ugh, my head hurts from all coughing. finally got around to getting my ass out of the house for a bit of fresh air. 1/2 way to the grocery, it started drizzling. what else can go wrong.. !? sigh, just hoping those raindrops don't add another 2-3 days of sickness :(

recently found a passion for wrapping gifts. the other day i felt like a 5 year old again, but this time i wasn't wowing at barbie dolls. this time, it was all about ribbons, gift wraps, boxes and all the cute tinsels you could ever imagine- in 134823401 colours, designs & shapes! hmm, sometimes i think people forget about presentation. it's not the main agenda, but it is nonetheless, significant. i feel like scrap-booking now... but what about, i wonder. we'll see.

found another song. it's such a hopelessly romantic sappy love song. lol now you see why you can't blame me for loving it. i am a hopeless romantic. don't you go snickering- you know deep down the world needs more people like that! ;)

finally, closure

i love discovering new songs. and today i found the perfect break up song, for then..

I saw you
You saw me
That's when I needed you
You needed me
I kissed you
You kissed me
And thought forever yeah
We'd always be
Well I like you
You like me
Seems that we fit so perfectly
You make me feel worthy
And I've let you take care of me

* * *

There is nothing we can do to get past this
Nothing you could say
Baby please don't fret
Our time has moved passed us
I love you
You love me
Is it possible we love differently
You need me but I need to
Feel strong baby without you

once is forever

In My arms
In my mind all the time
I wanna keep you right by my side till I die
I'm gonna hold you down and make sure everything is right with you
You can never go wrong if you
LET ME HOLD YOU
Down like a real friends supposed to
I'm trying to show you the life of somebody like you should be living

OOOooHHhh Baby Baby
You could never go wrong
If you let me hold you

omg! coming across songs that once got me so hooked! i used to imagine a guy singing this song to me! heard it again today while the girls and i (in the living room again) were playing that question game where we let someone's playlist go on random to answer our questions. apparently sherlene thinks her playlist is on a roll. .. i secretly agree. a little. lol. anyway, back to 'let me hold you'.. weeee, so sexy & sweet :)

the key

i am looking for love.
i know i deserve this.
& i don't expect to find it in you, immediately.
but i would like to know that we're both searching for the same thing.
& i will stay hopeful that by the end of the day, we'll eventually find it.
in all that we've been through together
& in each other.

i would love to know that you're in this for the long haul.
that i am the one person you long for.
i want someone who will fight for me, for us.
yes, we won't be perfect and maybe, just maybe
there will come a day when you are the reason i cry
but i'd love to know that you will also be the one
who will make me smile the same tears away.

if you cannot
then you are not 'the one' for me.

'the one' isn't ready made to perfection for me.
it is 'the one' who strives to perfect himself for me.

P/S: summer classes are worst :(

let go

maybe falling in love is like pushing someone behind a swing. you push them away with all your might. the harder the better. you let them fly so that for a brief second, they could touch the sky & perhaps when they finally come back down, they'll crash deeper into you.